are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
