does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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