Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
