yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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