and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
