i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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