Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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