Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
