How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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