Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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