my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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