she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
false alarm. still invincible.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
