it wasn't lemon gatorade
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
