ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
