Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
