i barfeds in our rink
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
