Your tits are I can't wait for
Non-Jews are for practice
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
