you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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