Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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