He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
