if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize