Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
