...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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