Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
