batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They have beer where we have blood.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
