batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I cut my penus on the lid.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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