nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
