There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
