just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
