I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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