I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Never joke about your clitoris.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
