either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
