hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
