I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
3 2 1 whiskey
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
