we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
