yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
