i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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