Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
