No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
