can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
