I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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