I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I understand Curling. That high.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
