i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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