Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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