Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
