At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
