I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
where am i from again
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
