Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
