Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm bleeding and have questions
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
