those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
