I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
