I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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