I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
