i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
