Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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