bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
oh god the rape fog is back!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
