WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize