I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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